Lovin' the Library

I am LOVING the Library for the boys. Mind you, at this stage of the game (particularly with the newly acquired walking cast on my left foot) it's a whole lot easier to make the trek to the Library on my own instead of trying to keep two two-year-olds from de-shelving all the books in the children's section. At the same time, we're finding it an incredible resource for my rather frugal ways... although I do keep adding to my "must buy" list of favourites that I'd like them to own.

One of the best things about the Library is that I really take notice of their favourite books, since I end up having to check them out again and again as they're requested by the boys over and over once they've already been returned. Here is our Library List of late:

The Napping House, by Audrey Wood (anything that talks about sleeping works for Sam)
I am a Little Giraffe (or monkey or Alligator or Bear or Duck etc...) by Francois Crozat
Shoes, by Elizabeth Winthrop
Brown Bear, Brown Bear, by Eric Carle (Ben's personal fave)
Hermie's Bugginings: Colours, by Max Lucado (taught them colours quicker than anything else did )
Goodnight, Goodnight Sleepyhead, by Ruth Krauss (we've been reading them this one since they were tiny and it's still a favourite)

Most of all, I love that it is instilling in them a love of books, which I hope will eventually grow to become a love of reading on their own some day. There is something to be gained when you read a good book; a story that can touch your soul and stay with you the rest of your days. I hope this is something they experience as the years go on and the stories eventually pass from hearing my words to reading their own.

Living Simply

I'm one of those people who can not function well in chaos. As organization gives way to mess my blood pressure peaks, I start to get antsy and I can feel all sense of calm leave my body to make room for frustration. I just can't do it. I know that I am more productive and a much saner (and sweeter) mother when I feel like the home is under control. Does it have to be perfect? sigh. Ah, in a perfect world it would be but, with four people taking up the same space, it's not likely. It does, however have to be at least orderly and "picked up". I can live with at least that much ... for now.



All of this to say, I'm on a purging binge again. I love to purge. I love to load that car, packed to the roof, full of things I am no longer using or the boys have outgrown, and drop it all off at the MCC Thrift Store. I feel so much lighter in spirit on the trip home from there. I love near-empty shelves and drawers that only house one particular type of item instead of a whole jumble of things. I can train the boys better when there is a very clear place their toys belong. I am happier. I have also noticed a dramatic shift in the disposition of Sam and Ben when there is order to their world. Ben, in particular, seems to be most appreciative of an orderly environment (I wonder who he gets that from?).



So far, we have taken 3 very full carloads to the thrift store and are just getting started. I have never been much of a pack-rat but things somehow tend to pile up anyhow. My mantra is "if it hasn't been used since the last season (winter clothes used since last winter) then out it goes." Even things like china - who uses all that stuff? I figure, if it has been sitting on the shelf all year without being taken out, then someone else could be loving it and using it (see-ya-later!). We have since emptied the entire cabinet (which now holds the everyday dishes) an entire pantry (which now goes in the regular cupboards) the bottom of the entertainment unit (now holding bins of toys that the boys can reach) and an entire toy cupboard. I love it. Our goal by the weekend is a basically empty backroom to make room for the sand and water table for the boys.



We want to live simply but that is hard to do when you have too much stuff. We want to be hospitable but that is hard to do when you don't want drop-in visitors because you won't have a chance to clean up all that stuff before they arrive. You want to be able to teach your children to take care of their things and learn to be responsible for them but you can't because there are no empty cupboards for them to put their things away. You want them to appreciate how special their toys and games are but they don't because they have way too much other stuff. You want them to learn to concentrate and spend time at a task but they are constantly flitting from one activity to the next because they are overwhelmed with too many things capturing their attention at once.

This is more than just de-cluttering this time. We are taking back control of the way we want to live our life. We are deciding how we want Sam and Ben to be raised and making changes now to accomodate that. Why are we keeping things that don't fit into the picture of the life we're creating together? Why are we allowing things into our homes that don't fit that picture? I heard a phrase "picture the way you want your life to look and get rid of everything that isn't in that picture". Well that's what we're doing and let me tell you, it feels great!

Learning Practical Skills

I've been doing quite a bit of reading lately about the Montessori method of learning and have been struck by how much a two year-old could be doing if only we'd give him an opportunity to learn. Today I set up a lesson for Ben in cutting (Sam wasn't too interested in participating today). I'm starting to have them help prepare their own snacks and meals, slowly teaching each step as they're able to grasp the concept.

I had to carefully set up the cutting board in such a way that I knew he would be able to get the dull butter knife through the apple peel (lay apple on its side) and lay everything out from left to right in a way that would make sense to him. I was surprised at how much concentration he applied to the task and how much he enjoyed being able
to do something he has seen me do so often.

This is just the start. I have turned a corner in the way I think about these young ones and how much they can achieve if only given an opportunity. I plan on spending the time teaching them how to achieve practical life skills instead of simply doing everything myself - even though that is exceedingly easier than showing them over and over and waiting for them to finish their task. The goal should be more about helping them to be independent and less about getting the job done.

Easier said than done, I think. You'll know how it's going by the blog posts. If there are blog posts then it's obviously working! :-)

Who is Sam?

It's a mystery. We used to have a little boy named "Sam" but he seems to be missing. Oh, Terry and I mention his name from time to time, but he's never really around. We do, on the other hand, have two Bens.

You see, Ben is Ben. Ben refers to himself as "Ben". Sam refers to him as "Ben". We refer to him as "Ben". He answers to it. It seems to be his name.

Sam is also Ben. Ben refers to Sam as "Ben" (or sometimes "Benny"). Sam refers to himself as "Ben". When Sam looks in the mirror, he points to the person looking out at him and says "Ben." When Sam looks at a picture of himself, he points to it and says "Ben." Sam usually will look up if we call the name "Sam" - but not always (not sure how much of that is him simply ignoring us though). If we run through the family names, he will point out who everyone is flawlessly . . . until we get to the name "Sam." "Okay, that's good. Now where's Sam?" He's stumped. Sam? Who's Sam?

I thought we'd gotten used to it. Terry and I just kept right on correcting them and saying "No, that's "Sam""... until I noticed something strange. I caught myself calling Sam "Ben" all week. I shake my head and correct it and then promptly do it again. I'm being brain-washed by two-year olds. I'm convinced of it. I can picture them now, upstairs in their rooms, giggling together at pulling one over on Mommy... and they're probably up there calling Sam by his given name. Sam.

Silence

I'm not going to lie to you ... I hide out in the bathroom. It's true; I did it today. Don't get me wrong - I Love (with a capital "L"!) my little guys but sometimes you just need a little peace and quiet from the relentlessly annoying sounds of The Wiggles, the cars being tossed across the room and all the toys that light up and scream music everytime a little finger presses a button. It can get very LOUD (also with a capital "L") around here and if, for the sake of my sanity, I have to perch on the edge of the bathtub for 5 or 10 minutes, so be it.

This is not something I do very often though, for two reasons. First, one never knows what trouble a couple of two year olds can get into when they're unsupervised (or even when the ARE supervised, for that matter). Secondly, and of much greater concern, the whole experience tends to end badly which kind of takes the peace out of the proposed bathroom solitude. Usually it ends with two heartbroken little souls wailing at the top of their lungs (thereby nullifying the "escaping the noise" reason for being in there in the first place) and pounding on the door until they eventually just fall in a pathetic heap on the floor in front of the door. I admit that I have become quite familiar with this entire routine during even those very legitimate bathroom excursions so I have found myself trying to limit even those... unless of course it's nap time, then it's good to go.

There's something about knowing your precious child is weeping on the other side of a closed door that instills even greater sympathy than having those same tears in front of your face. It's heartbreaking - and makes me feel like the worst kind of mother for sequestering myself in there in the first place. So, of course, unable to bear it anymore, I gently nudge the door open against their sprawled bodies which causes them to slowly slide across the kitchen floor (as they would still be refusing to get up at this point, in protest). The following hugs, kisses and reassurances tend to make it up to them and they scamper off with nary a bruised heart between them, while I still have that lingering guilt hovering around the edges.

Ah, it's a tricky thing - this solitude and silence that we sometimes seek - while our children are still toddlers (barely even into toddlerhood at that!) People tell me all the time that it too quickly passes and then you're wishing for those very loud, busy days back instead of the quiet empty house you have then. It's hard to foresee such a quiet time - with little ones, even the nights are sometimes loud so there is no guarantee of quiet even in sleep. Would I trade it? Never! Do I wish for a sound-proofed room in which to pass an hour each day? Absolutely! Will I forget the guilt from today and find myself again perched on the edge of the porcelain tomorrow? Likely.

Egg Carton Edibles

What parent isn't looking for a way to get their kids to eat their "food pyramid?" How to get those veggies or fruit or proteins into them? Oddly enough, it never seems to be too hard to get those carbs in!

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Expanding on an idea I saw that used muffin tins (a little too many cups to fill for two-year olds), I cut an egg carton in half so both Sam and Ben would have a tray that was manageable enough for them to carry to the table on their own, and had just enough spaces to hold the amount of food they'd eat. This was a huge hit with them! The egg was pretty messy but it was, naturally, the first thing they both ate. The ideas are endless - fill the cups with cheese, broccoli, asparagus spears, peas, rolled up luncheon meats, cut grilled cheese into strips, French toast cut into sticks . . . the list goes on.

.It is a challenge every day to keep the boys' minds engaged in things that do not involve the Wiggles, Barney or Hi-5, but I am determined to try - even if it just means making mealtimes a little more fun. I want them to linger at their activities and play instead of sailing through them all at high speed. I'm trying to slow down their life in any way I know how. Okay, so a cut-up cardboard egg carton is probably not going to change their world, but I'll tell you, that snack took three times longer to eat than the ones they wolfed down yesterday and it was enjoyed. And isn't that what childhood is all about? Enjoying each moment. Oh wait a minute - that's what motherhood is supposed to be about. Got it.

Animal Fun

Noah's Ark Little People play set, flannel board "animals and their homes" and forest animal magnet boards . . . why, the boys don't even realize they're learning! They are, after all, only two years old; a time when 95% of their time should be spent hard at work playing.

They're thrilled when I pull out the very special sets to play with, all the while practicing the animal names out loud. They run to the cupboard and bang on the drawers and say "toy, toy, toy" so I will pull out what, in actuality, is a learning tool that I've been using with them.

I love scouring the 'net for new activities and am constantly emailing my friends for ideas they've tried with their own kids. My sister, Heather, is regularly emailing me links to blogs that get my creative juices flowing. It is so incredibly worth every effort and each moment of time it takes to plan something new. When I see their eyes light up when I pull out a new craft or even present something to them in a different way, it makes my heart smile.

It is a challenge not to get frustrated by the mess and to reign myself in when one of them runs off with one of the pieces to an activity set and tosses it down the floor vent, but I'm working on it. I keep telling myself that these are new skills they're learning - even just sitting still for any length of time - and breathe in and out a few times when my "orderly tendencies" are tested by the messiness of toddlerhood. I remind myself not to expect too much and to remember that it really is all just play.